A Millie is a Mother In Law (MIL). To some extent, both Millie and Mollie are Millies. When two of our kids married, we wanted to distinguish who was the Mother of the Bride (MOB) and Mother of the Groom (MOG). Since the Mother of the Bride was doing all the hard work (helping the bride with the wedding, etc.) we made her #1 Mother in Law. Nobody wants to be a MOB, but Millie goes down easy. Makes sense, right? It's a job requiring high diplomacy, patience, wisdom, multiple superpowers and a sense of humor.
What is a Mollie?
The Molly is the Mother Out Law (MOL). She's the mom of the groom who will either sit politely in the background or rush to assistance when help is requested by the bride or the Millie (note: I didn't say "needed" I said "requested"). I was the Mother of the Groom, and always will be since I have boys only. This job also takes high diplomacy, patience, wisdom, multiple superpowers, a sense of humor AND a certain amount of detachment. It's just the way it is.
I didn't want to be a MOG, it just sounded too grumpy. But a Mollie? That has panache. It also has attitude and this Mollie has attitude to share . . .
Why Have Defined Roles?
In terms of organizing a wedding, a family, a life, etc. the Bride and the Groom comes first. It's THEIR life, after all. When our adult children decided to make that long walk down the aisle, the ceremony, reception, honeymoon and other considerations had to be theirs alone.
Traditionally, the bride plans the wedding with her mother, and really, in a wedding, there's only room for one Millie.
The Millie gets the joy (get it, Joy?) and the Mollie sits back and remembers that there are weeds in her garden that need her attention. If the Millie needs help, there's e-mail, cell phones and extra sensory communication that she can employ to summon help from anyone she chooses.
This is good practice for life after the wedding. Face it, women and their mothers are a force beyond physics. If I hadn't been so close to my own mom (now an Angel), maybe I wouldn't get it. But as it is, I do remember that when the chips were down, 1-800-callmom was the first number I dialed.
Why Write a Blog?
In the early days, Millie and I met and hit it off fabulously. It helps when the two women involved are independently fabulous. We had the same take on life, kids, poops and domestic issues. This blog is a natural off-spring of two fabulous mothers!
Aware of our incredible superpowers, we felt the urge to share our cumulative wisdom. Parenting was an interesting job in the decades we parented. So much changed in social dynamics during our tenure - family planning, work issues, test-tube babies, surrogate mothers, marriage, sexual orientation, you name it, the subject came up when we were in the thick of it. We don't always think "the same," but each of us thinks "the sane." Why not have a place were at least two aspects of any issue can be discussed with love and wisdom?
Why Ask Millie and Mollie?
We've been there, done that, cried, laughed, bandaged, fussed, ignored, sang, yelled, held jobs and wiped bottoms for a living. It doesn't get any earthier than that. And for parenting, what's better than an 'earthy mother?'
Even if we don't have an answer to your questions, we will have observations. If nothing else, you'll get a good laugh from hearing about our mistakes!