Sunday, October 3, 2010


Masturbation is a touchy subject (pun totally intended), and is often approached with trepidation.

As a whole, the human race has two primal needs: feed and procreate. We've become fixated on both, sometimes to an unhealthy extent. Now, somewhere along the way, sex was made out to be a bad thing; something dirty and unmentionable in polite society. Right? Sex inside marriage is a beautiful thing. I firmly believe that's where it should stay.

But we're not talking about sex. We're talking about self-gratification. Growing up in a house with three girls (myself included) and two boys, sex came up. Our parents talked to us about saving ourselves for marriage and all that good stuff. They talked to the boys about masturbation.. because, well frankly, it is more obvious when a boy is aroused.

They didn't tell us girls anything about masturbation.

I have three girls and fully intend on speaking with them about it. I have to tell my two year old to stop touching herself because, quite frankly, her hands are probably filthy and I don't want her to get an infection. My four year old son has asked me "Do I have a bone in my penis? Like, a circle bone?" I admit I was a bit startled and blushed when he asked me that... I also admit that I just told him no, he doesn't have a bone.. and will let his father tell him more about, well, "boners" (term seems to fit at the moment) when he is old enough to understand.

I remember the first time I was aroused and had no clue what was going on, or what to do about it. I was confused and even a bit ashamed. Admittedly, I was once accosted in a sexual manner as a seven year old (which was never properly dealt with) and think that perhaps that is where the shame stems from? I don't know.

All I do know is that your girls need to be spoken to, just like you speak to your boys. Be matter of fact. Give them the information. Don't let them feel ashamed. The way I figure it, if we were only meant to have pleasure while having intercourse, we wouldn't be able to touch those pleasurable areas on our own.

P.S. Sigh. I had my husband read that last bit, and he says that argument doesn't work. "Just because we can smoke weed, does it mean we should? Just because we can kill someone, does it make it right?" Sure, if you want to get technical about it, what I said makes no sense. However, in this particular case, I think it works. Just because you can shoot holes in your wife's theories, doesn't mean you should. Just sayin'.


  1. I couldn't agree more. The gradual formation of sexual maturity is no more or less shameful than the gradual replacement of baby teeth with adult teeth. People who are taught that sexuality is something vaguely shameful that should be hidden are at the mercy of mis-information and predators. People who are taught that sexuality is something normal that can, and perhaps should, be explored in private will have the weapons they need to help them wait to have sex with other people until they CHOOSE to do so.

  2. Mollie said . . .

    BRAVO!!!! We never lectured our children against masturbation simply because we believed it to be a natural part of sexual awareness. Sex isn't a good OR a bad thing, it simply is a natural thing. It's our personal reaction to this natural thing that dictates attitude.

    That said, nobody got pregnant practicing self-gratification. No hearts are broken, promises unkept, children conceived and no STD's passed.

  3. And most importantly, no sins committed! I can't stress that enough!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.