Poison Control

Mollie writes:

Go to: http://www.cnn.com/ and you'll find a poll on the home page asking if you've ever had to call a poison control center. What I have to ask is that "Who hasn't" and "Why did only 23% admit to, yes, they've called poison control."

Life is filled with bizarre little mysteries. Not only did I call poison control, but I had to call them at least twice. When my 18 month old got a nasty little diaper rash, I bought a tub of Desitin and spread it on his little bum like I was frosting a cake. It must have been the lovely smell (kinda like rotting fish), but the little guy decided, when my back was turned, to sample a baby handful.

I could tell he'd eaten it because he had this goofy white smile that smelled like a beached whale. Of course I called poison control.

The telephone person reassured me that the stuff was ok, and that Pete would be ok. I watched him like a hawk since I tend to NOT believe experts, but, whaddya know, she was right.

The next call into Poison Control was when Roger was 4 years old. He'd gotten four packs of gum in his Christmas Stocking from Somebody, and when Somebody's back was turned, he decided to chew and swallow as much as he could in one sitting.

Somebody noticed right away and called Poison Control. In addition to learning that one NEVER gives a kid even ONE pack of gum, Somebody learned that Roger would be ok, once he'd passed the gum.

We watched him and, whaddya know, he passed the gum. Sigh.

And that's just the kids! One dog ate the mosquito pellets we put in the pond, we called, and whaddya know, the pellets were non-toxic to dogs (it didn't do much of a number on those skeeters, either). Aaaaaaaaaand then there was the time our two toy poodles, Jake and Elwood, broke into my night stand - where I kept my medicine. We didn't call poison control, we rushed the dogs to the Emergency Pet Hospital where their stomachs were pumped. No drugs were found (wish I could say that about the real Blues Brothers) and Somebody got a lecture on keeping drugs out of the reach of pets as well as children.

So, I admit, I've called poison control. I didn't put them on speed dial, but I did have their number on my fridge. You never know when the kid will stick dead fish in his mouth . . .