Saturday Night Fever (30 Years Later)

Millie thinks:

He brought me flowers! He knows he’s allergic . . . quick! Put the vase out on the patio!

Darn it, there goes the phone again . . . Sassy! It’s Lizzie . . . what do you mean, she can’t have you sleep over after all?? You get online and you find someone to stay with tonight! It’s our 10-year Dating Anniversary, and you’re the only kid who’s still here! I don’t know, make friends with someone at the bus stop if you have to!

Oo, I get the bathroom to myself for five minutes . . . I should probably spray a little more blonde on those roots, if I don’t want to have what Lance so kindly refers to as “reverse-skunk hair” tonight. I wonder if he remembered to make reservations? HONEY! Did you make reservations? I don’t know, any time is fine with me . . . what does he mean, 8 o’clock? Well, I guess I can have an early snack so I can take my meds with food . . .

T’sk, the ants are coming in by the sink again . . . I need to put more bait down in here. I don’t want to find them coming out of the Water Pik hose again.

How am I supposed to put on eye makeup without wearing my glasses?

Yeah, I’m coming, I’m coming . . . Yes, I know it’s locked. I locked it. . . . So you wouldn’t come in, that’s why!

He wants to dress up tonight. I wonder if I still own a pair of pantyhose . . . oh no, that means shoes with heels! Well, it’s only for a couple of hours . . . if we park close to the restaurant, and I have a Mojito or two, I should be able to manage it. I don’t care, though, I’m putting my tennis shoes in the back of the car in case he wants to take a “romantic stroll” afterwards. Arthritic knees popping like Rice Krispies is definitely the antidote to a “romantic stroll.”

Oh no . . . Rocky forgot to take the kitchen garbage out before he left. I guess I’ll have to – oh, NO! And this was my last clean blouse! Stupid little . . . Sassy, don’t forget to feed the chickens. Darn it, you’re supposed to tell us before you run out! HONEY! We need to stop in at the feed store on the way downtown tonight . . . you’ll have to wear the blue suit instead, you know you’ll pop the seams on the gray one again if you try to lift 50 pounds of layer pellets while you’re wearing that thing.

Where is my dress-up purse?

I’m already worn out . . . maybe I should suggest we take a nap before dinner . . . but then I’d have to do my hair again. Forget that.

I’m coming, I’m coming! Sassy, don’t forget your sleeping bag; we’ll drop you off at Lily’s on the way. I don’t know. I don’t know! It’s YOUR toothbrush, why would I keep track of it? Well, get a new one out of the pantry . . . Do you have your key? Do you have your cell phone? Do you have your bus pass just in case?

HONEY! We’re ready. Yes, she has her key and her phone and her bus pass. Oops, hang on . . . I forgot my purse. Do you think you’ll need me to drive? Then I won’t bring my keys . . . otherwise I won’t be able to fit everything in here . . . okay, okay, I’m coming!

‘Bye, Sassy! Have a good time . . . pick you up tomorrow around noon.

Whew!

Thank you, Lance! You look nice, too!

H’m . . .

Hey, he does look pretty nice! . . . . . . .