Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Let's Talk About Poop, Baby

Maggie writes:

As parents, we have the great privilege of worrying over every aspect of our children's lives. What they eat, how often they eat and how they eat. When they sleep, how often they wake... and what works best at getting them BACK to sleep. The myriad of possibilities is endless.

And then there's poop. In the first few years of their life (oh, until at LEAST fully potty trained, maybe even longer), you are constantly concerned with their poop. The quantity, quality and frequency. From the moment they come out of the womb, you wonder "Is this normal? Should they be going more? Less? Should it be this color? This consistency?... this STINKY??"

Every parent goes through it. When a bunch of moms get together, you can almost guarantee Poop War Stories will be shared. Like survivors of some sort of twisted chemical (oh the STINK!) warfare, we listen in awe.. and then try to top one another. "You shoulda seen the size...!" doesn't always have to refer to fish. Good times, good times.

I am in the thick of potty training my third child. She's a little over two years old and I must say, she's doing wonderfully! Girls potty train sooner than boys, in my experience. I have only ever started the potty training process when they were good and ready. Otherwise, it is an act of futility on your part and frustration for the both of you.

Each child is unique. The first two, though different ages when they started, pretty much followed the same routine of bypassing the "little potty" and going straight for the big one, with some sort of toilet seat insert. Not this time around. No siree, I'm not that lucky. Nope, this time, the little stinker is using the little potty, and quite happily at that. She is very proud of herself, and really, I am too.

I'm just sick of taking the bucket to the toilet and dealing with the poo. There is no reason for me to be this intimately familiar with the conditions of her excrement. Oh, and the older two get in on the act, begging to see how much she has pooped. So they can then cheer her on! My son goes so far as to try to tell me the color and quantity ("She went sixtyninefortyone times, Mommy! And it's brown with a little bit of yellow! Isn't that AWESOME?!"). I wish I were joking.

Potty training is a big step for both parents and child. Not only does it free up some of the precious finances literally being tossed into the trash can, it saves time! And sanity!! Of course, it is also an important step in independence for the child.

Our next goal will be learning how to wipe. Once that is down pat, she's going to have to start telling me when she has to go, as she is too short to reach the doorknob for the bathroom and I can't leave it open... that's just asking for trouble. I can barely trust my four year old to go in there and get the job done without clogging up the toilet or some other fun pastime. Nope, she'll have to let me know BEFORE she goes that she needs to, and we can run into the bathroom.

No more little potty for me, thank you very much.

The next big hurdle will be to take her out in public without a diaper. Ooo, the excitement!

I'll letcha know how it goes.


  1. My twenty-somethings STILL come and tell me when they have to "go." Afterwards they describe the process and the product in vivid detail . . . and don't even get me STARTED on this subject where my husband is concerned.

    That's just it about this parenting game - if it's not one disgusting thing, it's another!

  2. OHHHHHH the excitement! OHHHHHHHHHH the excrement!

    You are the Queen of the Oval Office and Holder of the Keys to the Kingdom!

    Go Maggie!


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