Friday, August 13, 2010

Life's Embarrassing Moments

Mollie writes:

Maggie is nursing up a storm, and I have to laugh because I have managed to embarrass myself multiple times as a nursing mother. With my first, I was constantly pumping milk to take to the NICU for my preemie, and couldn't go anywhere without my hand pump, bottles, nipples, lids and wipes.  I had nursing bras that looked like they were from the middle ages and there was absolutely no way to nurse my baby in public without giving the world an eyeful.  I'm normally a DD, but as a nursing mother, my size was "to infinity and beyond."

But the most embarrassing situation involved driving and a hungry, crying baby.  Peter was four months old, and I was still experiencing milk letdown any old time.  A friend had loaned me a preemie car seat (extra small) and by May, I was ready to return it.

So into the car goes the new car seat, in goes the preemie car seat, in goes the baby, then in goes the diaper/nursing bag.  I was just driving a couple of miles, to a friend's house, but you'd think I was going on safari.

I went to Kathy's house, returned the preemie seat, chatted, showed off my baby, nursed him, and had a nice cup of tea.  After about two hours, we were ready to go home, so I loaded Peter and his accessories and headed for the barn.

We were driving up Towle road when Peter started whimpering for food.  Whimpers changed to demands, and of course, my milk started to let down.  We were only a few blocks from home, so I sped a little.  My milk let down and I could watch the dark circles form on my chest.

Unfortunately, I didn't notice the traffic cop pointing his radar gun at me.  Whoop whoop goes his siren, and I obediently pull to the side of the road.

This cop would be lucky if he were 21.  He was wet behind the ears and looked like it.  I'd be surprised if the boy shaved.  But here we are, at the side of the road, with my baby screaming, my milk letting down, and a look of utter confusion on the cop's face.

I guess he didn't know that nursing was a spontaneous kinda thing.  His eyes grew bigger as my milk circles grew bigger.  I burst into tears, and Peter just screamed away.  What a way to get a speeding ticket.

I eventually made it home, fed the baby, and resolved to go to court to fight my ticket.  On the court date, I went in to plead my distraction, I wasn't going that fast (35 in a residential 25 zone).  But I took one look at the judge and realized that nursing and speeding just don't mix.  I paid my fine and went home.

So a word to the wise.  Let the little guy scream his head off.  You can pull over and nurse him, or he can just wait the additional 5 minutes for grub.

But don't drive when under the influence of oxytocin.  That's the mother of all hormones!


  1. Aww! Mollie, I feel for ya. Have you ever had the overwhelming need to nurse someone else's crying child? Not that I'd ever act on it, but goodness me, if it wasn't frowned upon, I'd have nursed a couple different babies who weren't my own. Does that make me creepy? :P

  2. Nope, it makes you a mother. We keep forgetting that we have breasts for a reason!

  3. Whoo, this takes me back. My first few minutes away from my first baby we went to the video store to rent a couple of movies and someone else there had a baby who (wouldn't you know it) started up with The Hunger Cry. This was before I'd discovered the beauty of bra pads; by the time we got home I looked like I'd been swimming with my shirt on!


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